So, more than a year ago, I decided to take the plunge, and try blogging. It was great. And then…. nothing. I didn't do it again. In fact, I only actually thought about my blog twice in the last year, not counting today.
So here I was checking out Facebook this morning, and I found a friend from church decided to start a blog. So I read it. And that lead me to read another. As I read the second friend's blog, I had to smile. She didn't share anything particularly profound, but it was really nice just to get a glimpse into her life that I don't get in our limited meetings at church. I feel a little more connected to her, and that inspires me to pursue our friendship more. In fact, I realize there are a lot of things that I should be pursuing more.
I looked up the definition of "pursue" this morning. To pursue is to follow something or someone in order to catch it, or to seek to attain or accomplish a goal.
So, I have to ask myself, with all God's blessed me with, what am I doing about it? With it? What am I pursuing? Thinking about my life, I am forced to admit, there are so many areas that I am failing at. I find that I don't spend enough time with my extended family & friends. I have felt this for some time actually, so why am I not doing something about it? I know my house is a mess, the laundry's not always done, and we often order pizza or eat out because I didn't feel like cooking. And then there's my new business. Business you ask? Yes, if you read my first blog a year ago, I mentioned my desire & plan to become a Stampin' Up® demonstrator. Well, I did it. Sort of. I am indeed a demonstrator, but no, I am not putting all I should into it; I'm not pursuing it.
There are many times-mostly Sunday mornings (thanks Pastors Steve, Greg, & Dave)- that I have felt challenged to do better, and be better. Be a better housekeeper, a better cook, a better friend, a better daughter. And then Monday morning rolls around…. Why do I find it so hard to live my life on Monday, the way I felt convicted that I should on Sunday? The answer plain and simply is-the devil. The devil tempts us, and brings things into our lives that become idols. We all know that. Back in May, I realized that I had made the internet, and especially Facebook games into idols. So I decided to stop. I would stop playing the games that I spent hours playing daily. And I did great, felt great - for a while. It didn't last. I ended up substituting the games I quit with others. Daily, I try to convince myself that it's just a fun little diversion that I do in my spare time. But I've just been lying to myself. It's the first thing I do after the kids have left for school, and what I'm still doing when they return. Sure, I get up & do other things through the day-wash a few dishes, throw a load of laundry in, but then I'm right back at the computer.
So, the answer to the question, 'what am I pursuing?' is truly disappointing. I'm pursuing nothing but silly internet games. So here it is, time to face my demons, and slay them. I am vowing to myself, and to anyone interested in holding me accountable-it's time to pursue! I am going to pursue 3 things:
1. To be a better caretaker of my home & family. I will clean something daily. I will cook daily, and limit eating out or ordering in to a set number of times per month that Bill & I will decide on.
2. I will connect with family & friends more. I will call or visit a family member or friend daily. I will make an effort to call friends and family that live out of town on a regular basis.
3. I will stop spending hours each day playing on the internet! If I succeed at #1 & 2, I will have less time to do so. But I will also pursue other things that I've let go- being a demonstrator & stamping, reading a magazine or book, going for a walk, taking pictures, etc.
If you are a friend or family member, I ask you to please pray for me as I struggle through this change, and please, please, hold me accountable!
Thanks.
Until next time, and I promise it won't be a year,
Chris.
